Fourteenth interview (III) for the project YoungHumansOfScience where I try to interview people related to this field and understand their stories in order to close the gap between society and science.
Adam: How did you choose this path?
Since young, I was always a dreamer and I enjoyed drawing, but my parents didn’t approve of it and wanted me to do a bachelor’s in engineering. So I did science in high school to follow that path, but during the second year, I had a breakdown. I didn’t enjoy what I was doing at all.
I decided that even if it wasn’t what my parents wanted, what filled me was art and I wanted to follow an art bachelor. So I applied and I didn’t tell them until I was accepted for the bachelor. In the end it went well, they didn’t get angry, but of course, it could have also gone badly.
Adam: What made you notice that you didn’t want to continue with engineering?
I don’t really remember, but I think that it had to do maybe with having a hard time with studies, seeing that I could get good grades and not enjoy it at all.
Then I thought about how I would have to do the same during the bachelor and then during my work life and continue feeling the same and I decided that I would rather end up living below a bridge than be bound within a cubicle.
When I still didn’t know if my parents would support me, I decided that even if they didn’t I would pay for it myself and that same summer I started saving up for my studies, I was going to do it no matter what. And now I think that I wouldn’t change it no matter what, even with all the hard parts I don’t want to switch to another path.
Adam: How was the moment of telling them?
I was in the gym with a friend when I received the news and when my mother came for me she found me crying.
She didn’t know why I was crying and when I told her that it was because I had been accepted in that bachelor she was quite surprised. None of my parents were expecting it at all.
Adam: How are you finding the bachelor?
It has a lot of highs and lows. Before getting into it you imagine that it they will teach you how to draw, how paint, but when you get there they just tell you to start working without giving you any direction.
Then you show them what you did and you receive feedback that in most cases is just I don’t really like what you made, which you can take the first few times but then it starts hurting you more.
The first day they told us: Being positive only about 10% of you will make it by being an artist and of course that 10% will be made of men, so you girls that are about 80%, you won’t be able to make it big.
So as you can see they paint it quite bleak and I have friends that left this path because or they expect too much from you, or you stand out or the only thing they will do is criticize you. I have a few friends that left if because they couldn’t take it and ended up depressed.
You think, maybe next year will be better, but then you see that it gets a little bit worse and you learn to accept it.
From about 300 on the first year only about 100 make it to the end.
Which is quite sad specially with a path in arts which is supposed to be more beautiful .
Adam: What kept you going?
The freedom. I personally don’t hate this bachelor. I enjoyed most of the first year, but on the second I only enjoyed about 2 and on the third year everything is way more free.
Everything is up to you, which in turn is problem if you don’t know what you want to make, because here they give you no direction at all. So I will continue until I get the title and then I will have more options
Adam: What is it that fills you from this path?
I lived in a college before and during exams you could see people depressed saying that there was no way they could make it or that they didn’t want to study.
I was also stressed and I hated studying, so the fact that whenever I had to work for a subject, that it was mostly something like going to an atelier where I sculpted a rock, and gave it shape, I just enjoyed doing it.
I didn’t have to think : I have to finish it no matter what. I have to get it done because they are going to grade me on it.
You didn’t think about those you just used your ideas and tried to give them shape while working with your body.
Many times you might have an idea that you try and you don’t like but you can still see how it evolves every time you give it shape.
I just really enjoyed seeing how my work evolved.
Adam: How is the feeling of finishing a piece?
Actually whenever I finish one, the thing that usually comes to mind is:
Well what a shitty thing I made.
But it doesn’t really matter, because what’s important isn’t what you get in the end as a result, what really matters is the process, what you learn as you work the idea. Because even if you get a piece that you don’t like, you can start all over again and try one more time.
This is what many do. If for example you like circles, then you make things that are based on circles and you give them meaning, what are circles for you?
They have always been used on classical constructions, the social circles, and how they connect people or you can just come with your own meaning of circle.
Sometimes you might end up with something you are satisfied with and sometimes you might get something that you really don’t like, but what really fills you is the process.
Adam: Adam: How is the creative process for you?
You get the idea, you search for references related to the idea you had. You see how it was treated along history and then you start working and you let it flow.
There are many ways to do it, in my case I have an idea, I get some material to start trying it out. Most of the time I don’t get anything which frustrates me and then I try a new idea, and as you continue this process you start developing it and as you go with it, in the end you obtain something you are satisfied with and then I start to give it a meaning, I try to understand what is behind it.
I also know that many people go with the opposite approach, there is something they want to convey so they search for different way to do it.
In our bachelor one of the things they taught us is that all methodologies are valid, you have to find yours and use it.
Adam: What do you think of the amount of freedom?
I really like it, apart from a few subjects where they give some recommendations, most of them give you complete control of how you do your work. As you advance you get more and more freedom, which also means that if you are lost then tough luck because you have to choose your own path and you are alone with it.
I like it because it gives you the chance to explore and find your own path.
our own way to express yourself.
Adam: It’s pretty interesting, because in many other bachelors they give you a lot of guidance and then once you finish you are alone and you have to think about what to do. Whilst in your case it seems like they prepare you for it since the start.
Yes, exactly, they are preparing for when you finish, and maybe that’s why its so hard at the emotional level because since the first day they already tell you that you won’t make it.
Adam: Do they also give you other perspectives such as, you should build an instagram account or something?
No. This is one of the flaws it has, everything is to traditional and even when new things come out the full time teachers don’t really give it any weight.
Because of that, things like digital art or illustration are completely out. Like they really hate illustrations. They don’t like working with pictures either. It like a little bit too old.
They try to give you things about contemporary art and there you really get lost because many times you have no idea what you are looking at. It’s really nice that they give such importance to concepts, but I don’t know, it’s like they paint it as the only possible path in the bachelor.
How was your path? Which decisions did you have to make
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